


Never Really Over

by SilverMoonSky



Series: Adrinette April 2020 [14]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrinette April 2020, Angst, Bittersweet, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff In The End, Identity Reveal, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Is Over Adrien Agreste, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Marinette is not okay, Oblivious Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Songfic, at least she thought she was, fake dating au, she's so selfless and we love her for it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:14:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23668201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMoonSky/pseuds/SilverMoonSky
Summary: Marinette thought she left behind all her feelings for Adrien two years ago. But when he comes up to her and asks her to fake date, she wonders just how far she can go through with the relationship before she snaps.Written for Day 15: Sacrifices for Adrinette April.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: Adrinette April 2020 [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1685854
Comments: 34
Kudos: 253





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a songfic! I've been meaning to write one of these for a while, and the other day when I was listening to "Never Really Over" by Katy Perry, I thought the song suited Adrinette quite well. There's this lovely [AMV](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GGClLGqEgk) on YouTube that further inspired this fic. Also, due to the fact that this turned out _much_ longer than expected (oops :P), I had to cut back a lot of the lyrics.
> 
> I highly recommend listening to the song while reading this. Hope you enjoy! :)

_♪ I'm losing my self control_

_Yeah, you're starting to trickle back in ♪_

Marinette knew what people said about first loves; it was said that no matter how it worked out in the end, no matter how you moved on, you would never forget them. After all, they were the first person you gave your heart to. They were the first person you loved, and the first person that would ever break your heart.

Unless you were lucky. Yet unfortunately, despite all the Ladybug luck that she had, Marinette was not one of those people.

She tried. Two years ago, when she finally realized Adrien would never feel the same way about her that she did about him, she told herself to move on. She took down the pictures of him from her wall, got rid of his schedule and all those gifts she’d made, and attempted to flesh out all the romantic thoughts she had about him from her mind.

It was hard. It had hurt. But Marinette did it.

Yet as she and Adrien started to get closer, the emotions she’d barricaded in her heart slowly began to rise to the surface again. And that terrified her.

_♪ But I don't wanna fall down the rabbit hole_

_Cross my heart, I won't do it again ♪_

Luka had made it all bearable. When Adrien was dating Kagami, she found herself constantly drawn to the musician. She could never bring herself to return Luka’s feelings. However, he helped her find herself. She would never be able to thank him enough for that.

So Marinette continued to tell herself that she didn’t need those feelings to return. She was fine on her own, for now. There was no need to drag herself into that whirlwind of emotions again.

It was a promise she made to herself. A promise not to fall for him again.

That way, she wouldn’t be hurt yet again.

_♪ I tell myself, tell myself, tell myself, "Draw the line"_

_And I do, I do ♪_

Sometimes, she would still think about him, of what could have happened if the two ended up dating. Adrien’s sweet smile, his never ending kindness, and his terrible sense of humor were all things she’d known about him, yet only as she got to know him more as a friend did she come to appreciate all of it.

That made her realize something: she’d never _really_ known him. Sure, Marinette didn’t have a crush on him just because he was a pretty face, but still. She hadn’t known him as well as she should’ve.

Her feelings for Adrien had changed overtime. He was more than just a former crush to her now. He was her _friend_ ; a friend she could depend on through the highs and the lows, a friend she would gladly call on to share every moment of her life with.

She’d had a crush on him once. And that was okay. But she didn’t let that fact blind her anymore.

_♪ But once in a while, I trip up, and I cross the line_

_And I think of you ♪_

At least, she tried to. There were times when Marinette’s heart fluttered slightly more than it should when Adrien was around. At his touch, his encouraging words, or his willingness to always be there for her. It astounded her sometimes; how could he care so much about her?

But as long as she didn’t act on those feelings, it would be fine. She and Adrien were friends. She couldn’t possibly take advantage of that.

_♪ Two years, and just like that_

_My head still takes me back ♪_

“Marinette!” Adrien called one day, walking towards her. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

She turned around to see Adrien call her back into the classroom. Everyone had left already; it was just the two of them.

“Sure,” she said. “What’s up?”

Her awkwardness around him had faded. Every time she talked to him, Marinette was constantly reminded of the time she could barely say coherent sentences around him. It always caused her to cringe.

“This is gonna sound really crazy,” Adrien said, “but I need some help.”

Curiosity got the better of her. “What is it?”

Two years ago, she would’ve been over the moon if Adrien ever asked her for help. But obviously, she was not the same girl she’d been then.

_♪ Thought it was done_

_But I guess it's never really over ♪_

“Would you be willing to date me?” Adrien suddenly blurted out.

“Wh--what?!” Marinette stared at him as if he’d sprouted two heads.

Had she heard that correctly? Was Adrien starting to have feelings for her? But that wasn’t possible! There was no way he felt that way about her! She’d left all of her feelings for him behind, there was no way she could--

“I mean!” He added hastily, “fake date. Not actually date.”

Oh. So he didn’t have feelings for her. Disappointment striked her heart.

Wait. Why should she care? She was over him.

_♪ Oh, we were such a mess_

_But wasn't it the best? ♪_

“Why?” She asked. “Why do you need to fake date someone all of a sudden?”

“Father’s trying to set me up with Lila,” Adrien said.

Marinette’s eyes widened. “ _Lila_?” She asked incredulously. “Seriously?”

“He wants me to date someone that’ll look good for the company,” he explained, rubbing his hand awkwardly against the back of his neck. “Especially since it’s been a while since Kagami broke up with me. But I didn’t want to date Lila because well, you know. So I accidentally blurted out that I was dating you instead.”

“Oh.” Marinette looked down at her feet.

If she was the first person that came to his mind when he thought about dating someone, then maybe he did have feelings for her? Could that possibly mean. . . .?

_Is he starting to feel the same way for me as I did for him two years ago? My feelings for him back then were such a mess, but. . . ._

“You don’t have to,” Adrien said, seeing Marinette’s uncomfortableness. “I’m sorry. That was insensitive of me. I shouldn’t have assumed that you’d agree, and it’s not right for me to put all this pressure on you just because--”

“I’ll do it.”

_♪ Thought it was done_

_But I guess it's never really over ♪_

Adrien’s face lit up like she’d given him the whole world. Marinette ignored the rising panic inside of her brain, frantically screaming at her to stop, to take a step back, and think about this. But it was fine. This would be okay. She could do this, right? This was for Adrien. He needed her. She’d always be there for him, and if she had to do it in this way, then so it be.

“Really?”

Marinette nodded. “Yeah. If. . . . if it means helping you get out of a situation you don’t want to be in, then I’ll do it.”

“Thank you so much, Mari!” Adrien leaned over and wrapped his arms around her. Marinette stood there stiffly before carefully returning the hug. “You’re such an amazing friend.”

_Friend. You’re his friend. That’s all you are to him. Don’t take advantage of that._

Whatever hope she’d been holding out on, it’d been immediately quenched. Because of course, it wasn’t like Adrien suddenly had secret feelings for her. If he did, why would he ask her to fake date? They were just friends. She was just a friend that was going to be doing this to help him out. There was nothing more to it.

“Of course,” Marinette said quietly, “what are friends for?”

_♪ I guess I could try hypnotherapy_

_I gotta rewire this brain ♪_

Marinette flopped down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling, only now realizing what she’d gotten herself into.

_I can’t believe I agreed to that._

She was supposed to date Adrien, make their friends, family, and the public believe it was real. . . . but it wasn’t. Because they were just friends.

Everything, all of the emotions she thought she’d left behind when she moved on, were coming back. The walls had broken down. The flood came rushing back in, and memories she hated, ones she _cringed_ at, rose to the surface. All the love, affection, and hope she felt for Adrien morphed back into the romantic feelings that they’d started out as.

She’d never really moved on. The realization was startling.

It made her want to scream.

_♪ 'Cause I can't even go on the internet_

_Without even checking your name ♪_

“It’s not too late to turn your back on this, Marinette,” Tikki said from where she was perched on her bed. “Adrien will understand.”

She shook her head. “No, Tikki. Adrien asked me for help. What kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t help him?”

“But this is a little too far, don’t you think? Besides, Adrien doesn’t know you used to have feelings for him.”

Marinette sighed, hugging a pillow to her chest and turning to the wall once adorned with pictures of Adrien. “It’s okay. I agreed to this, Tikki. I’m doing it for Adrien.”

_Adrien deserves to be happy, and if it means sacrificing my own happiness, then it's okay._

Tikki said nothing, but her eyes glimmered with worry as her chosen drifted into sleep.

_♪ I tell myself, tell myself, tell myself, "Draw the line"_

_And I do, I do ♪_

“Girl, I’m so proud of you!” Alya literally ran up to Marinette as soon as she walked into class several days later and threw her arms around her. She’d texted Alya about the supposed relationship the night before, and she’d been ecstatic. “You’re finally dating Adrien! I told you it would work out in the end!”

_If only you knew._

Marinette faked a smile before pulling away. “I know! I never imagined this would happen.”

“This is awesome! One of my OTPs is finally happening! All I need is Ladynoir now, and I’ll be bliss.” Alya grinned. “You have to spill all the deets on how you two finally confessed later, okay?”

She and Adrien had discussed this. They’d come up with several stories to prove that their relationship was genuine and real. They had also set a couple of rules and boundaries so that neither of them crossed a line.

“Of course,” she said. “I’ll tell you all about it.”

Marinette suddenly felt two arms wrap around her waist from behind. She tensed up, startled, then relaxed when she realized it was just Adrien.

_♪ But once in a while, I trip up, and I cross the line_

_I think of you ♪_

“Good morning, princess,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. She blushed.

_Imagine if he did this everyday and actually meant it. Wouldn’t that be amazing?_

“‘Morning to you too.” She looked back at him and smiled, trying her best to hide the aching in her heart.

_Just pretend this is real. It’ll hurt less that way._

But in fact, that hurt more. It hurt even more that she had to _pretend_ it was real in front of her family and friends rather than knowing it was fake. They all believed it was true. But it wasn’t.

For months and months Marinette had dreamt of her and Adrien getting together someday. But now that it was finally happening, she couldn’t help but feel a little empty inside. Because this definitely wasn’t how she’d pictured it.

_♪ Two years, and just like that_

_My head still takes me back ♪_

“Congratulations, guys!”

The rest of their classmates gathered around, complimenting the new couple. There was money being exchanged. Apparently her classmates had seen enough chemistry between them to bet on when they would finally be getting together.

It was unfortunate Marinette wouldn’t be able to tell them that it had all been in vain.

Rose began to make a comment on how Marinette used to have a crush on Adrien. She shushed her before she could finish. Adrien didn’t need to know that. If he knew, it would only make things more complicated between them than it already was.

Thoughts of regret started to spring up in her mind--how long would she have to keep this up?--but Marinette shoved them back down. She couldn’t back down now; it wouldn’t be fair to Adrien.

She’d just keep this up for as long as she could.

_♪ Thought it was done_

_But I guess it's never really over ♪_

Marinette saw Lila staring at them from the corner with an unreadable expression on her face.

“Lila, aren’t you happy?” Alya asked excitedly. “You told me yourself that you’d do anything to get Marinette and Adrien together, and here they are now!”

“I know, they look great together!” Lila feigned a smile. “I’m so happy for you two. It’s finally time you guys started dating.”

Marinette and Adrien exchanged a glance, not falling for it even the slightest bit. However, it was a different story with their classmates. They all continued to gush over the two of them until Miss Bustier walked in, telling the class to be quiet.

As Marinette made her way to her seat, she met Lila’s glare. The Italian girl’s eyes burned with fury. She sighed. That was yet another problem she was going to have to deal with sooner or later.

_♪ Oh, we were such a mess_

_But wasn't it the best? ♪_

How long was she going to keep this up? Marinette had thought she moved on when Luka had helped her, but now? She wasn’t so sure. With every passing second, she was aware of her growing feelings; of the hope, of the longingness, of the hurt.

She had no idea where her feelings for Adrien were now. Yes, she _loved_ him, but to what extent? When would she finally break from all the pressure?

The only thing she knew for sure was that her past crush on Adrien had been such a mess. This time around, if those feelings did end up becoming uncontrollable and she did fall for him once again-- _not like you have already,_ the voice in her head told her--she would make things better. She’d fall for him the _right_ way.

And maybe, just maybe, he’d start to see her in the same way.

_♪ Thought it was done_

_But I guess it's never really over ♪_

Months passed.

Marinette was beyond exhausted. Between all her work as Ladybug, her Guardian responsibilities, her work as class president, commissions, and now the events she was scheduled to attend with Adrien as his girlfriend, she could barely find enough time for herself. It was a miracle how she managed to keep herself on top of everything.

What made everything worse, however, was the media. Ever since she started her fake relationship with Adrien, the tabloids had all been bombarding her. Some were speculating if she was using Adrien just to get in a good place in the fashion industry, or that she didn’t actually love him and had other motives for being with him.

Which was a lie, obviously. She loved Adrien with all her heart, whether it be platonically or romantically. She would _never_ use him like that.

It was too much sometimes. Some days, after being overwhelmed with every little thing, all Marinette would want to do was break down and cry. But she couldn’t even do that for fear of being akumatized.

This wasn’t _fair_. She was falling. Slowly and surely, she was wearing out all her energy by pretending. She was forced to hide something that she desperately wanted to shout out on the rooftops to all of Paris.

But then Marinette reminded herself who she was doing it for, and it made things a little more bearable.

She could afford to hide her feelings a little while longer. That’s what she told herself, anyway. As long as Adrien was happy, she’d continue doing this over and over again.

_♪ Just because it's over doesn't mean it's really over_

_And if I think it over, maybe you'll be comin' over again ♪_

“Ladybug,” Chat Noir greeted as he landed on the Eiffel tower after they’d each done their own rounds of patrol.

“Hey Chat,” she said, staring out into the distance. Her legs dangled off the edge of the beam she was sitting on, and she was leaning forward with her head resting on her hands.

“Are you okay?” He asked, settling himself down beside her.

“What’d you mean?” She glanced over at him. She wanted to be surprised, but wasn’t. Of course Chat could easily pick up anything she was feeling; he knew her too well.

“You seem. . . . off.”

Ladybug sighed. “It’s nothing, really.”

_Just that the guy I used to have a crush on asked me to fake date him, and I hate that all the feelings I thought I left behind are coming back, and I’m so stressed out with all my other responsibilities and the press constantly judging me that I can barely find a moment to breathe--_

Chat put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him, cutting off the tangent she went off on in her mind.

“It’s obviously not nothing if it’s bothering you this much,” he said. His eyes softened. “You know you can tell me anything, Ladybug. I’ll listen.”

_♪ And I'll have to get over you all over again_

_And I'll have to get over you all over again ♪_

Ladybug sighed. “I. . . . remember I used to like a boy a couple of years ago?” Chat nodded. “So recently, he asked me out, and we’re in a relationship now. But. . . . I’m not sure he feels the same way I feel about him.”

Chat narrowed his eyes. “Do you think he’s using you?”

“No!” Ladybug shook her head. “No, he’d never do that.”

_But isn’t he technically using you so that he doesn’t have to get into a relationship with Lila?_

She ignored that thought. Adrien would never do that.

“Then what? Why do you feel that he doesn’t like you the same way?”

“It’s. . . . complicated.” She turned to face him. “I’m just so confused. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

For a while Chat remained still, gazing at the sky with a thoughtful expression on his face.

_♪ Just because it's over doesn't mean it's really over_

_And if I think it over, maybe you'll be comin' over again ♪_

“You know,” he finally said, “I’m in a similar situation. After my break up with the other girl, I was pressured to date someone else.”

“Pressured?” Ladybug asked, confused.

“For work related reasons,” Chat said. “So a couple of months after the break up, I. . . . I started dating someone else. The person I’m dating right now is amazing, and I really do love her, but I’m not entirely sure how she feels about me either. She doesn’t. . . . she doesn’t know that our relationship is more than a work relationship, if that makes sense.”

“Oh.” Ladybug cocked her head and stared at Chat. He looked disappointed.

 _He must really love that girl if he feels that strongly about her,_ she mused.

“So the advice I would give you is this: just go for it. Don’t go overboard, but don’t be afraid to push boundaries. Even if he doesn’t feel the same way, you should at least try.”

_♪ And I'll have to get over you all over again_

_Over you all over again ♪_

Ladybug nodded. That made sense. “Is that what you’re trying with the girl you’re dating?”

Chat looked sheepishly at her. “I, well. . . .”

She raised her eyebrows at him.

“A little bit?” He tried.

“Wow, look at you, giving out advice but not able to take it yourself.”

“It’s hard!” Chat whined, and all the tension that had been between the two from their serious talk dissipated. He dramatically put a hand to his forehead. “Why does love have to be so hard?”

“You tell me,” Ladybug deadpanned.

With that, the two of them continued their playful banter as Ladybug thought about Chat Noir’s advice. It was good advice, and if she did it correctly, perhaps it would actually work.

_But it’s okay if Adrien doesn’t end up feeling the same way. Because I’m doing this for him, not me. Adrien’s counting on me, and I can’t let him down._

She would try her hardest not to.

_♪ Thought we kissed goodbye_

_Thought we meant this time was the last ♪_

“Marinette?” Adrien asked one day. “You know if there’s anything bothering you about our relationship, you can talk to me about it. We don’t have to continue doing this if you don’t want to.”

Marinette looked up from where she was working on her homework. The two of them were in Adrien’s room. She shook her head.

“No, I don’t have any problems with our relationship now,” she lied.

“Oh. Good.” Adrien nodded, smiling awkwardly at her before going back to his math worksheet.

What Chat had said kept coming back to her. At first Marinette would ignore it, but as weeks passed, the advice her superhero partner had given her persistently barged into her mind. After all, he wasn’t wrong. It was just a matter of how she implemented it.

Marinette wondered what would happen if she and Adrien got rid of all the rules and boundaries between them. If they could do more than the polite smiles and stiff small talk when in public, if they could do more than just kisses on the cheek and hand holding. . . .

She wondered what it would be like to kiss him. On the mouth. When everyone else was around.

Would it be too cruel to ask him for that?

_♪ But I guess it's never really over_

_Thought we drew the line ♪_

“Hey, Adrien?”

He looked over at her. “Yeah?”

Marinette bit her lip. She wasn’t sure if this crossed a boundary, but she should at least try, right? “Can I. . . . kiss you?”

Adrien immediately stiffened, gaping at her in shock.

“Sorry!” She exclaimed, seeing his expression. “I’m sorry, that was probably crossing a line and I know that this relationship is fake and that that’s probably taking it a step too far but I just--”

“No, it’s okay,” Adrien reassured her. “That’s a good idea.”

Her breath caught in her throat. “You think?”

He nodded. “It’ll be. . . . good publicity.”

“Oh. Yeah. That’s, um, what I meant,” she said hastily.

They stared at each other for a while. Did she want to do this? Take it this far? She loved him, after all, but she didn’t know if he felt the same way. And if he didn’t, then the kiss would just be in vain, right? It wouldn’t actually mean anything?

 _Don’t overthink it._ She could almost hear Chat’s voice in her head. _Just go for it._

_♪ Right through you and I_

_Can't keep going back ♪_

She scooted closer to him so that their knees were touching. Marinette leaned over, closed her eyes, and kissed him right on the mouth. Adrien’s hands immediately found refuge at her waist. She weaved her fingers in his hair, moving closer and closer, deepening the kiss, longing for more and more--

He pulled back first to gasp for air, soon resting his forehead against hers. Neither of them moved away immediately. They continued to stare at each other, both their gazes glistening with unspoken emotions.

“For publicity,” she said breathlessly.

“For publicity.” He nodded.

Because this was a facade. No matter how much she told herself that things could possibly change, that was the truth. If this situation never improved, she would just have to learn to accept it.

Maybe she’d tell him someday. One day she would tell him how her heart fluttered when he was around, how his gorgeous smile, loving words, and endless amounts of kindness did nameless things to her. One day she would tell him that she’d fallen in love with him that fateful day in the rain, and no matter how many times she tried, she could never bring herself to leave those emotions behind.

_♪ I guess it's never really over ♪_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart hurt writing this, but it's definitely my new favorite Adrinette April oneshot. I don't know if I'll ever expand this, but I do have several ideas, so if you would like to see more or have ideas of your own, let me know!
> 
> EDIT 4/17: I lied to myself. This is most definitely going to have a second chapter to resolve things. That should be up before the end of the month :)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When an identity reveal causes Marinette and Adrien to figure out they actually have feelings each other, they realize they need to resolve several issues between them.
> 
> Written for Day 25: Cheek Kiss for Adrinette April.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated on whether or not making this second part a songfic too, and eventually I figured it out. The first half of this chapter isn't in a songfic format, while the second half is. The writing styles vary _a lot,_ but hopefully you don't mind. Again, I highly recommend listening to "Never Really Over" while reading :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Marinette supposed it would just be her stupid, dumb luck that her fake boyfriend would also happen to be her superhero partner.

Really, what were the odds? Of the hundreds of blond haired and green eyed boys in Paris, the two she cared about most were actually the same person. That fact should’ve brought her sheer joy. She was so,  _ so _ incredibly lucky, after all. She shouldn’t be feeling horrified instead. She should want to throw her arms around him and embrace him, because finally, after all this time, she’d found her other half. She shouldn’t be having the sudden urge to recoil away, to turn her back on him and never come back. She shouldn’t be feeling this anxious, this petrified, this freaking  _ scared _ .

She was frozen. She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. All she could do was stare at him in shock and let emotion after emotion bombard her.

“Marinette,” Adrien whispered, staring at her in awe.

She could barely bring herself to look him in the eye. This couldn’t be happening. There was no way this was true. He couldn’t be. . . . if he was Chat Noir, then that meant she had told him. . . . that meant that--

_ He knows. _

Marinette stumbled backwards. Adrien reached out for her, concerned, but she shook him away.

The careful wall she’d concocted around herself had shattered in seemingly seconds, from the moment their transformations had given out to when they made eye contact, to when they finally realized who the other was. It was gone. The barriers, the boundaries,  _ everything _ . There were no secrets. Nothing had been held back. Whatever Chat knew, Adrien didn’t, and vice versa. He wasn’t dumb; it probably hadn’t taken him long to put all the pieces together.

_ He knows. _

She clenched her fists and closed her eyes, attempting to temper her breathing. Her heartbeat was racing. This shouldn’t have been the way they found out. How was she supposed to go on and defeat the akuma now? How was she, knowing Adrien was the one under Chat Noir’s disguise? There had been so many times she poured her heart out to Chat about her relationship with Adrien; heck, she’d told him to his face that she was unhappy! Granted, she hadn’t known they were the same person, but it didn’t stop her from feeling guilty. He knew the way her insides fluttered when she was around him, of how she’d loved him for so long, of how yearned to kiss him with fire and passion, yet all the while resigning herself to him never feeling the same way. . . .

He  _ knew. _ Finally, after all those years, he knew what he did to her. And it terrified her.

“Mari? Are you okay?” Adrien asked worriedly, bending down beside her.

Somehow, Marinette had ended up on the floor, her knees against her chest with her arms wrapped around herself. When she lifted up her head to look at him, she could feel silent tears sticking to her cheeks.

_ No, I’m not okay, _ she wanted to scream. But that wasn’t fair; Adrien didn’t deserve to be the victim of her unstable, emotional state. As much as she wanted to let it all out, she couldn’t lash out in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” Adrien murmured. He put a hand on her knee. She didn’t pull away, and he looked straight into her eyes. “It’s my fault. If I hadn’t used my cataclysm so early, you wouldn’t have used lucky charm, and then we wouldn’t have revealed our identities to each other. I know how adamant you were about not finding out, and now I see why.”

Marinette cursed under her breath. Why had she broken down in front of him? This was making the situation worse for the both of them. It was already bad enough that one of the akuma’s mind controlled minions had locked them in this cage (which luckily had walls, so no one else could see them), right when their transformations had run out. They hadn’t even had time to look away. When she figured out Chat’s identity, the least she could’ve done was schooled her emotions in. Instead, Adrien was now looking at her with concern, because she’d nearly had a mental breakdown.

“No, I’m the one that should be sorry,” she said, brushing the tears away. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”

Adrien bit his lip. “Are you. . . . disappointed that it’s me?”

Marinette glanced at him in surprise. “Why would you think that?” Immediately she wanted to smack herself. Of  _ course  _ he thought that. Her reaction hadn’t exactly been one filled with ecstasy.

_ He probably hates me now. _

“You had a mental breakdown,” he said quietly. “I thought--I mean, you just--”

A sudden  _ thump  _ came from outside, effectively cutting off what Adrien was trying to say. For the first time since they’d been locked in here together, Marinette was slightly grateful. She wasn’t exactly ready to talk and sort her feelings out with him.

“We should transform,” Marinette said as they heard another  _ thump _ . “We can talk later.”

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” Adrien stood up and offered his hand. Marinette took it, and their hands lingered together for slightly longer than necessary. Marinette pulled away first.

“Tikki?”

Tikki and Plagg immediately phased back into the cage. She blinked in astonishment.

“What were you two doing out there?” Adrien asked.

“Assessing the situation,” Plagg said.

“There’s not much time,” Tikki fretted. “These minions are bringing this cage back to the original akuma. You two have to get out of here before then.”

Marinette nodded. She reached into her purse and took out a cookie for Tikki, while Adrien gave Plagg a piece of camembert. She turned to Adrien once they were done eating. “Ready to transform?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he said. “Plagg, claws out!”

“Tikki, spots on!”

Waves of light washed over them. Ladybug faintly realized that this was the first time the two of them had transformed together. Chat turned to her and beamed, but his grin faltered when he saw the tension in her stance.

Ladybug sighed. “Okay, let’s get this over with.”

“Wait.” Chat grabbed her arm just before she threw her lucky charm. She looked at him questioningly. “Promise me that we’ll talk once we’ve defeated the akuma?”

Ladybug hesitated, biting her lip, but nodded. “Okay,” she agreed.

It wouldn’t hurt to, right? Surely she’d be over the shock of the reveal by then?

* * *

She was wrong.

Marinette still hadn’t been ready to talk to him, and once they’d defeated the akuma, she’d immediately excused herself. Chat called after her, but she ignored him, muttering something about needing more space and time before swinging across the rooftops of Paris towards the bakery. She’d left him standing alone, dejected, and without an answer to why she reacted the way she did.

. . . .Yeah, he most definitely hated her now.

Still, she couldn’t bring herself to talk to him now. Her emotions were a mess, and she needed time to sort them out. It would do both of them no good if she talked to him while she was in this state. So Marinette detransformed, immediately flopped down on her bed, pressed her face into a pillow, and let out a long scream, releasing all of that pent-up frustration.

No, not frustration that Chat Noir and Adrien were the same person. As the hours had passed, she’d come to accept the fact more and more--it made sense, after all, and both of the boys were extremely precious to her. Of course she was glad they were one and the same.

What frustrated her, however, was the number of loose ends between them. For one, they’d both figured out each other’s identities at a time where neither was ready. Secondly, she’d had a terrible reaction that resulted in Adrien believing she was disappointed. And finally, she’d left before they could talk and figure things out.

Marinette had accepted the reality that he now knew about her feelings for him. She supposed it was only inevitable; it was bound to happen sooner or later. And now, she knew about his feelings for her as well. It left her with so many questions, and she was sure he had many questions too, but neither of them had asked one another any of them.

That was her fault. After all, she was the one that prevented them from talking. But still. She would talk to him when she was ready. And, as of her current emotional state, that time was certainly not now.

Screaming into her pillow felt good. When she was done, she looked up to see Tikki watching her. Her kwami’s face was filled with worry.

“Are you okay, Marinette?” Tikki asked.

Marinette gave her a small smile. “Not really,” she said, “but I think I’m over the initial shock now.”

“You know you need to talk to him, right?”

“I know. It’s just. . . .” Marinette trailed off with a sigh. “I’m just so confused, Tikki! I don’t know what to do.”

It had come as a shock to realize that every time Chat had thrown herself in front of her alter ego to take a hit, it had been Adrien. Every time he’d confessed his love for her as Ladybug, it had been him. Sweet, kind, wonderful Adrien.  _ He _ was the one she’d loved for so long, the one she  _ still _ loved. The one she’d never truly moved on from.

She knew Chat loved Ladybug. He had loved her for a long time, and even when he was dating another girl--Kagami, she realized now--he admitted that he’d never really truly moved on from her alter ego. And yet she could never bring herself to love Chat the way he’d wanted her to. Because of Adrien. Marinette didn’t know where his feelings for her stood now, but she could only imagine they were as conflicted as hers were right now.

And yet. . . . something else confused her even further. She recalled a conversation she’d had with Chat a couple of months ago, and the specific words he’d said.

_ “The person I’m dating right now is amazing, and I really do love her, but I’m not entirely sure how she feels about me either. She doesn’t. . . . she doesn’t know that our relationship is more than a work relationship, if that makes sense.” _

Of course she didn’t know that it was more than that; because their relationship  _ wasn’t _ anything more than a facade. It was as simple as that. When Marinette agreed to fake date Adrien, it had been under the impression that he didn’t have any romantic feelings for her. That she was just doing this for him as a friend to help him so that he wouldn’t have to date Lila.

So how could he say that? How could he say he loved her when he couldn’t even ask her out properly?

Tikki settled down comfortably in her chosen’s hair. “What exactly doesn’t make sense?”

“As Chat, he said he loved the girl he was dating,” she whispered, “but if he truly loved me, then why would Adrien ask me to fake date? Couldn’t he have just asked me out for real?”

Her kwami pondered that for a bit. “I’m sure he has his reasons, Marinette,” she said finally.

She scoffed. “I sure hope so.” In her heart, Marinette knew he probably did. Yet she couldn’t help but feel there was a possibility that there wasn’t. And she wasn’t exactly sure how to feel about that.

She heard her phone chime. She grabbed it from where it rested on her shelf and settled back down on her bed, peering at it. It was a text from Adrien.

_ Can we talk? _

She looked up at Tikki questioningly. Her kwami nodded at her with encouragement.

“You’re never gonna figure out how he feels if you don’t talk to him,” she pointed out.

“Fine.” Marinette quickly typed out a response.

_ Okay. I’m sorry for rushing off earlier. _

_ It’s fine, I understand. Tomorrow at my place? _

_ That works for me. _

_ Great, see you then <3 _

He’d used a heart emoji. Marinette stared at for a lot longer than she probably should’ve before letting out a sigh and putting her phone away. Normally her texts with Adrien were a lot more bubbly and cheerful than that, and it unsettled her. Things between them definitely weren’t the best right now, but as much as she was afraid of talking to him, she didn’t want to lose him. That was the reason she’d never confessed in the first place. He meant the world to her, and she didn’t want to ruin that.

“It’ll be okay,” Tikki said reassuringly. “You’ll see.”

“I hope so,” she murmured.

* * *

The next day was a Saturday. Normally, Saturdays were the days Marinette would get a chance to sleep in. But unfortunately, due to her nerves, she was awake by seven. She’d groaned, but ultimately decided to make the best out of waking up early. With a little push from Tikki, she’d pulled herself out of bed to get ready for the day.

Now, several hours later, she was standing in front of Adrien’s room, her hand poised to knock. She took in a deep breath. This was it. This was the moment she’d confess to Adrien about her feelings for him. Not that he didn’t already know--after all, he  _ definitely _ should’ve figured it out after yesterday--but this would be the first time she’d be knowingly saying it to his face.

Of course, he still had a lot of explaining to do as well, so she wasn’t alone in this. That was what made the whole situation a bit more bearable. At least she wasn’t the only one who’d kept secrets.

“You’ll be fine, Marinette!” Tikki chirped as she sensed her chosen’s increasing anxiety. “Relax.”

“But what if I say something wrong? What if he doesn’t like me anymore now that he knows I’m Ladybug? What if he was lying and doesn’t actually have feelings for me? Or what if--”

“ _ Marinette, _ ” Tikki said forcefully, “calm down.”

She took several more deep breaths, trying her best to slow her heart rate. “Thanks Tikki.” She smiled at her kwami. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Don’t thank me just yet,” Tikki said with a giggle. “Now go figure out things between you and Adrien!”

“Right!” With the confidence boost that she needed, Marinette knocked on the door.

_ ♪ Two years, and just like that _

_ My head still takes me back ♪ _

“Hey Mari,” Adrien said, smiling at her and letting her in his room. He closed the door behind them.

“Hey,” she said, stepping inside and standing offhandedly to the side. Heavy silence drifted between them. It’d never been like this before; her relationship with Adrien was a lot of things, but it definitely wasn’t awkward. Banter usually flowed between them quite easily.

“So, um, did you sleep well?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

Marinette nodded. “I uh, slept fine. You?”

“Yeah, I slept well too.”

“Cut to the chase, you two,” Plagg yelled. They jumped, startled to see the kwami of destruction hovering over them as he gulped down a hunk of cheese.

“Plagg!” Tikki scolded.

“What? It’s true! Quit being awkward and get to it already.”

Tikki grabbed Plagg and dragged him off towards Adrien’s bookshelves, with a “let them sort things out themselves!” echoing through the air.

Marinette turned to Adrien. He stared at her sheepishly. She wrung her hands together--gosh, she hated this! The awkwardness reminded her of how she used to be speechless around him all those years ago, however, this was for entirely different reasons.

_ You can do this, _ she told herself,  _ you can do this. Just talk to him. It’ll be okay. _

_ ♪ Thought it was done _

_ But I guess it's never really over ♪ _

“Mari?” Adrien asked hesitantly. “I. . . . I guess we have a lot to talk about, don’t we?”

“Yeah.” She laughed nervously. “Yeah, we do.”

“Right.” He walked and sat down on the couch, motioning for her to join him. She sat down beside him, keeping just enough space between them.

“So, you’re Chat Noir.” The statement held no accusations; her voice simply held resignation.

“You never answered my question about that yesterday,” Adrien said, looking down at his hands.

Marinette bit her lip, suddenly wondering about how Adrien had felt after yesterday. Gosh, she was so stupid! She hadn’t even considered what must’ve been going through his brain after the reveal; she’d been too self-absorbed and aware of her own emotions to even think about the pain she probably put him through.

“Adrien, I’m not disappointed it’s you,” she said, taking one of his hands. “In fact, I couldn’t be happier.”

He still wasn’t looking at her, but gently squeezed her hand with his own. “But then. . . . why did you react the way you did?”

_ ♪ Just because it's over doesn't mean it's really over _

_ And if I think it over, maybe you'll be comin' over again ♪ _

It was silly, really. Looking into his eyes, she could see all the qualities, all the reasons she’d fallen for him in the first place. Why hadn’t she seen this coming? She should’ve known from the day that she’d tried to move on that she wouldn’t be able to. And with Adrien being Chat, everything slowly seemed to fall into place.

This was her soulmate, her other half, the boy she loved so dearly. She owed it to him to be open and honest.

“Because I was afraid,” she whispered. “I was afraid because Chat knew about my feelings for the person I was supposedly dating, and when I realized that you were Chat. . . . I was scared that you finally knew how I felt about you.”

“But why--”

“I never confessed because I didn’t want to lose you,” Marinette said, cutting him off. “I didn’t want to face the possibility of you not feeling the same way. I’ve liked you for  _ years _ , Adrien. No matter how hard I tried, I could never move on from you.”

Marinette couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eyes for fear of rejection. During her entire confession, she’d been holding Adrien’s hand. She now tried to slip hers away, but he stopped her.

“If I’d known,” he murmured, gazing earnestly at her, “I never would’ve asked you to fake date, Mari. I would’ve asked you out for real.”

The statement hurt her a little. She now looked up and met his eyes with her own. “But why didn’t you take a chance?” She asked. “If. . . . if you really liked me and weren’t afraid of confessing, then why did you. . . .?”

_ ♪ And I'll have to get over you all over again _

_ And I'll have to get over you all over again ♪ _

“When I asked you to fake date at first, I really thought I didn’t have any feelings for you,” he explained. “I asked you because you’re one of my best friends, Mari, and you would understand why I wouldn’t want to date Lila.”

“I’m glad Lila’s been a lot better these past couple of months,” Marinette commented offhandedly. “The whole fake dating thing seemed to have worked.”

Adrien nodded before continuing. “I don’t really remember when I started to realize what I felt for you was more than just what I’d feel for a friend,” he murmured. “It was about a couple of months ago. I started to realize what I felt for you was the same thing I used to feel for Ladybug, what I thought I felt for Kagami. . . .” He looked at their entwined fingers. “You’re amazing, Mari, and I’ve always liked you. But I didn’t realize just how much you meant to me until recently.”

Marinette felt her face heating up in a blush. Adrien’s own cheeks were beginning to tint with pink.

“And like you, I guess I was afraid. I was afraid to ask you to make this relationship real because I didn’t want to lose you. I was constantly reminded of how Ladybug used to reject me over and over, and I guess I didn’t want that to happen between me and you.”

Her heart clenched at the mention of her alter ego. “I hope you know that Ladybug has always loved Chat as her best friend, even if it wasn’t romantically.”

Adrien smiled. “I know, my lady.”

Did he just call her. . . .?

_ ♪ Just because it's over doesn't mean it's really over _

_ And if I think it over, maybe you'll be comin' over again ♪ _

A lump formed in Marinette’s throat, and tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She didn’t realize how much she’d missed that nickname until now.

“Looking back at it now, I realize it was unfair of me to ask you to fake date,” Adrien said. “I didn’t even know where your feelings for me were. I assumed you liked me as a friend, and that wasn’t right.”

Marinette shook her head. “No, it’s my fault. I’m the one who accepted despite having feelings for you.”

“Is that why you accepted to fake date?” He asked.

She shrugged. “Partially. But the main reason was because I care about you, Adrien.” She squeezed her hand against his even more tightly. “I wanted to help you, and if it had to be by fake dating, then I was okay with it.”

Adrien gazed at her anxiously. “But I caused you so much pain,” he said with guilt. “If I was this torn and confused in these couple of hours, I can’t imagine how you’ve been feeling all these months.”

“I accepted it, Adrien,” she reminded him. “I brought it upon myself. You really can’t blame yourself for that.”

Adrien let out a sigh. “I’m sorry. I just. . . . I wish we were this honest with each other earlier. It would've saved us a lot of trouble.”

Marinette nodded. “Yeah, me too.”

_ ♪ And I'll have to get over you all over again _

_ Over you all over again ♪ _

They simply stared at one another. Throughout their conversation, the two of them had shifted closer to one another, and now they were so close, their thighs were nearly touching.

“So what’s our relationship like now?” He asked. “I mean. . . . what are we going to do?”

Marinette rolled her eyes at him fondly. “Isn’t it obvious? We’re gonna keep dating.”

“But for real this time,” he said.

“Yup.” Marinette grinned. She couldn’t recall the last time she felt this happy. “For real, kitty.”

Adrien beamed at the nickname. “Without any boundaries?”

“What boundaries would we possibly have?”

He shoved her side playfully. “You tell me, bugaboo.”

Marinette groaned. “Are you seriously bringing that nickname back?”

“Of course, princess,” Adrien leaned over and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “We can’t let that name go to waste, can it?”

_ ♪ Thought we kissed goodbye _

_ Thought we meant this time was the last ♪ _

“I guess not, my prince,” Marinette said with a laugh. How had she gotten this lucky? How had the two boys she loved the most end up being the same person? She could hardly believe it.

“What’re you thinking about?”

Marinette looked at her boyfriend--her  _ boyfriend! _ \--and smiled. “Just about how lucky I am,” she said.

“If anything,  _ I’m _ the lucky one,” Adrien said. “I fell for you twice, you know.”

“We get it!” Plagg called out from wherever he was before she could reply. “You two like each other. Now kiss!”

“ _ Plagg _ ,” Tikki groaned, “leave them be.”

“But  _ Sugarcube, _ ” he whined, “I wanna--”

Whatever Plagg was about to say was cut off by Tikki shoving a piece of camembert into his mouth. Marinette gaped at her kwami in shock. Meanwhile, Adrien burst out laughing.

“Serves him right,” Adrien said.

Marinette could only shake her head at him fondly.

_ ♪ But I guess it's never really over _

_ Thought we drew the line ♪ _

But Plagg’s words had stirred up another memory in her mind. The memory where she’d asked if she could kiss Adrien, long before she’d ever realized he had feelings for her as well. Back then, she’d assumed that the kiss had been in vain. And yet, it hadn’t been, because Adrien had liked her then too. She just hadn’t known it yet.

They hadn’t kissed after that; neither of them could find the courage to do so in public. Besides, it was a memory that Marinette cringed at whenever she remembered it.

But. . . . what if she fixed that? What if she made the memory something she  _ would _ like to remember?

“Adrien?” She asked suddenly.

“Yeah?” Adrien turned and stared at her questioningly.

“Can I kiss you?”

His face lit up, and he nodded. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Marinette moved closer to him and gently cupped one of his cheeks with a hand. Adrien leaned over, closed his eyes, and pressed his lips firmly against hers.

_ ♪ Right through you and I _

_ Can't keep going back ♪ _

It was fire. It was passion. It was everything Marinette had ever dreamed of. When they finally needed to gasp for air, they pulled away and rested their foreheads against each other’s, staring into each other’s eyes.

“I love you,” Adrien said breathlessly.

Marinette could feel her face burning, but she didn’t care. Nothing could rival the sheer joy she felt in her heart as his words registered in her mind. She’d never thought in a million years that this would happen to her. That she would finally be in a relationship--a  _ proper _ relationship with the love of her life. From the day she fell from him on that fateful day in the rain, this was all she’d dreamed of. And now it was finally happening.

“I love you too,” she whispered back, and once again leaned forward to capture Adrien’s lips in hers.

_ ♪ I guess it's never really over ♪ _


End file.
